Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Redo Blanchard Obolsky / Caylor S/R for Bully

Redo is in light blue
My Outline
Topic Sentence: Lee Hirsch’s movie Bully illustrates the devastating effects bullying has on an individual and their family.
Supporting Ideas to Prove Main Ideas: Lee introduces the audience to several youth who admit that they are being bullied and to adults who have either lost a child to bullying or know those who are struggling with it on a daily basis. The bullies’ victims are depressed and withdrawn, and struggle to move past the physical and mental abuse they are put through. Many do not trust adults, who have done little to nothing to stop the bullying and to guarantee the safety of the children, forcing their parents to watch helplessly as their children suffer. In the end, many snap and try to commit suicide or lash back at the people who have been hurting at them. Those that are successful ruin their futures, leaving their families mortified and grieving. Bully unveils how bullying wrecks havoc on the lives of youth and their family.

Response Outline
  • Topic Sentence: Bully, an emotionally-charged and eye-opening movie by Lee Hirsch, correctly portrays how bullying is a serious issue in public schools that is not being addressed.
  • Claim: Bullying is a serious issue in schools that is not being addressed.
    • Set up In the documentary, the assistant principal of Murray County Middle School is seen reprimanding a child - not the bully, but instead the bully victim. Despite his protests that the bully threatened to knife him, the assistant principal tells him,
    • Evidence ...
    • “Just shake hands and let it go...He’s apologized, hasn’t he? You’re being the bully now.”(Assistant Principal, Hirsch)
    • Explanation of quote ...
    • Instead of confronting the bully about threatening to hurt a fellow student - which is a case of malicious intent, a criminal offense - she warns the victim to either let the matter go or face more trouble.  
  • Counterclaim: The teachers did confront the bullies responsible for beating up Alex on the bus.
    • Set up: After the filmmakers showed the administrators the footage, the administrators proceeded to remove the bullies from the bus.
    • Evidence:
    • The second assistant principal confronted each of the students, warning them;
    • “You are to stop beating up on Alex on the bus, is that understood? I’m putting you on a suspension, and this incident will go into your permanent disciplinary record.” (Second Assistant Principal, Hirsch)
    • Explanation: The second assistant principal did proceed to discipline the instigating students and keep them off Alex’s bus for a year, showing they that they did take action.

Rebuttal ..
There are those that would point out that the teachers did take actions against the bullying. It is true that the teachers did confront the bullies and told them that they needed to stop, or they would face criminal charges. While this may be true, it should also be taken into consideration the fact that the school teachers have admitted that they cannot keep the children safe, and the victims of bullying say that the intervention did little or nothing to stop the bullies. In the film, Alex admits,
“I don’t really trust the teachers to do anything about the bullying on the bus.” (Alex, Hirsch)
The fact that students do not trust the teachers to do anything about the bullying shows the teachers and administration are not doing what they should to stop bullies. If the students do not feel safe and secure in their own school building, it just shows that the schools are not the haven they should be. Schools were built in order to prepare students for adult society. If the adults in the building turn a blind eye to clear cases of abuse, then that teaches students to disregard the morals needed for a happy, safe life. In addition, bullying causes victims to go into reclusion, lash out at the bullies, or take their own life. Tyler Long took his own life after “he got to the point where enough was enough.” (Tyler’s dad, Hirsch)
“Why, in God’s name, would some counselor, some teacher, some law enforcer not have come out and say something?” (Tyler’s parents, Hirsch) his parents ask at a community meeting. Other parents also come forward and admit their own children have been bullied, and that the school district has done little or nothing about it.
Concluding sentence: restate main idea. The documentary Bully  by Lee Hirsch accurately portrays how, in many public schools, the administration and teachers refuse to address bullying and its effects on the students.

1 comment:

  1. Good work on your rebuttal. Make sure you are correctly citing sources as well as using correct punctuation. Also, make sure you add a why to your response topic sentence.